What Was Done to You Was Not Therapy: Healing After Conversion Practices
Conversion therapy goes by many names: reparative therapy, sexual orientation change efforts, gender identity change efforts, ex-gay ministry. What all of these share is the same premise, that LGBTQ+ identity is disordered, sinful, or unwanted, and that it can be changed or suppressed through intervention.
Every major mental health organisation in the world condemns these practices as harmful and ineffective. And yet many LGBTQ+ people have been subjected to them, sometimes as children, sometimes as adults, sometimes in explicitly religious contexts and sometimes in clinical ones.
Outspace works with conversion therapy survivors and takes the harm of these practices seriously.
What Conversion Therapy Actually Is
Conversion therapy refers to a range of practices that attempt to change a person's sexual orientation or gender identity. These range from formal psychological interventions to religious retreats, prayer-based programmes, counselling with religious leaders, and informal family or community pressure. The common thread is the goal: to make someone less gay, less trans, or less queer.
The Trevor Project estimates that approximately 700,000 LGBTQ+ adults in the US have undergone conversion therapy, with about half having received it during adolescence from a religious or spiritual advisor. Research is consistent that these practices do not achieve their stated goal of changing orientation or identity, and that they cause significant harm to those subjected to them.
The Documented Harms
Conversion therapy is not merely ineffective. It causes harm. Research documents that LGBTQ+ people who have undergone conversion therapy are significantly more likely to report depression, anxiety, PTSD, suicidal ideation, and suicide attempts than those who have not. The harm is not uniform, as experiences range from mildly damaging to severely traumatic, but the direction of the evidence is consistent and the population-level effects are substantial.
The harms include the direct psychological impact of being told your identity is disordered, sinful, or requiring correction. They include the violation of trust by people or institutions who were supposed to be sources of support. They include the disruption of identity development at a critical period, the internalised shame that is deliberately cultivated as part of the treatment, and the damage to one's relationship with one's own body, desires, and sense of self. For many survivors, the most lasting harm is not what was done directly but what was installed: a deep conviction that something is fundamentally wrong with who they are.
What Conversion Therapy Survivors Carry
Internalised Shame and Self-Rejection
Conversion therapy is specifically designed to produce shame about LGBTQ+ identity. That shame is not a side effect; it is a mechanism. Survivors often carry deeply entrenched beliefs that their identity is wrong, disordered, or dangerous, even when they have consciously rejected the ideology they were subjected to. Dismantling these beliefs requires specific, sustained work, and it is different from general self-acceptance work because the stigma was deliberately installed by people in positions of authority and trust.
Religious and Spiritual Trauma
For many conversion therapy survivors, particularly those who experienced faith-based interventions, the harm is inseparable from religious trauma. Faith that was once a source of meaning, community, and identity became the context in which damage was done. Survivors may find themselves navigating a complicated relationship with religion, spiritual belief, and religious community that is not easily resolved. Both the harm was real and the loss of faith community is itself a significant grief.
Trust Violations
Many survivors were subjected to conversion practices by people they trusted: parents, religious leaders, therapists, and counsellors. The violation of that trust is part of the trauma. It can make seeking help later genuinely difficult, because the last time someone in authority said they were trying to help, they caused harm. The therapeutic relationship itself may be a site of anxiety and mistrust for conversion therapy survivors.
Disrupted Identity Development
For survivors who experienced conversion therapy during adolescence, the practices disrupted a critical period of identity formation. Rather than developing a grounded, integrated sense of self, they were directed into an ongoing project of self-suppression. This can leave lasting effects on identity clarity, self-knowledge, and the sense of owning one's own desires and choices.
What Healing Actually Looks Like
Recovery from conversion therapy is real and possible. It is not fast, and it is not linear, but it happens. Here is what affirming therapeutic support for conversion therapy survivors looks like.
Trauma-Informed Affirming Therapy
The foundational requirement is a therapist who understands that conversion therapy is a form of trauma and who approaches the work through a trauma-informed lens. This means safety first, pacing that respects the survivor's capacity, and no pressure toward any particular destination in the work. The goal is not to get over it quickly but to process it thoroughly.
Working on Internalised Shame Directly
The shame installed by conversion therapy is not resolved by general affirmation alone. It requires specific engagement with the beliefs that were cultivated, examining them explicitly, tracing their origins, and replacing them with something more accurate. Affirmative CBT is particularly useful for this work.
Navigating Religious Trauma
For survivors who experienced faith-based conversion practices, the relationship between religious identity and LGBTQ+ identity needs specific attention. A therapist who understands religious trauma and can hold both the harm of the experience and the complexity of the person's relationship to faith is particularly valuable. Forcing a choice between religion and identity is not healing.
Rebuilding Trust in Therapeutic Relationships
The trust violations inherent in conversion therapy can make subsequent therapeutic relationships feel genuinely risky. A good affirming therapist understands this and creates conditions for trust to be built incrementally, through transparency, consistency, and a genuine respect for the survivor's autonomy in the process.
The Bottom Line
Conversion therapy is not therapy. It is abuse, however it was dressed, whoever conducted it, wherever it occurred. The harms are real, documented, and sometimes severe. But so is the capacity for healing, particularly with affirming support that starts from the truth of what happened and does not require survivors to minimise, reframe, or forgive on anyone else's timeline.
Outspace provides affirming care for conversion therapy survivors. You deserved better then. You deserve it now.
Frequently Asked Questions
Does conversion therapy actually work?
No. Every major mental health organisation in the world has concluded that conversion therapy does not change sexual orientation or gender identity, and that it causes significant harm.
I underwent conversion therapy as a minor. What are my options now?
Affirming therapy is available to you now, and it can help. Some states also have legal avenues for survivors, and LGBTQ+ legal organisations can provide current information on your options.
I still have some of the beliefs from conversion therapy, even though I've rejected the ideology. Is that normal?
Yes. Beliefs installed through repeated exposure in formative contexts do not disappear when we consciously reject the framework they came from. Working on them explicitly in therapy is often necessary.
How do I find a therapist who understands conversion therapy trauma?
Ask directly. A therapist who understands should be familiar with the documented harms, use trauma-informed approaches, and not require you to minimise your experience. Platforms like Outspace vet for affirming competency.
Can I still have a relationship with religion if I was harmed through faith-based conversion therapy?
That is entirely your choice, and there is no right answer. Many survivors find affirming faith communities that hold both their LGBTQ+ identity and their spiritual life. Therapy can support you in whatever direction feels right.
What if the people who sent me to conversion therapy love me and meant well?
It is possible to acknowledge that someone acted from love and still hold that what they did caused harm. Both things can be true. Therapy can help you navigate that complexity without requiring you to resolve it prematurely.
